My god, I went outside today...

Thank the lord above! It has finally cooled off in Memphis. If only for a bit (because, of course, they are predicting the temps to go back up), but who cares! It's flippin' gorgeous out now! Don't get me wrong, I do go outside everyday. I just don't stay there. The last couple of days, I haven't wanted to go back in. Winter is not my favorite season. As a matter of fact, it is my least favorite. Spring and Fall are my fav's. In these parts of the country, there is so much outdoor summertime we are robbed of because of the inferno we live in. Seriously, how many times have you stepped out of your house to go to work in say, June or July, and burst into such a massive sweat it looks like you got dressed in the shower? It's not just me, so don't even do it. Pit sweat is not cool. I don't care who you are. And, it is crucial when your pit sweat is eclipsed by back sweat, butt sweat, behind the knee sweat, collar sweat, fat roll sweat...you know what I'm talking about? When you sit in your car slumped over your steering wheel trying to be as close as humanly possible to your air conditioner, that the undulating terrain that is your fat stomach becomes a gigantic sweat dough ball. I don't care how skinny you are, this happens to you. Having to keep deodorant on you at all times is annoying, but smelling like you've been cooking onions and garlic using your body as a saute pan while laying in a tanning bed is annoying to everyone else. Stink is the number one killer of all coolness you've worked your entire pre-pubescent, teen and adult life to accumulate. So, join me in thanking mother nature for finally cutting us some slack. Skip to your car after work loudly proclaiming (in your best operatic voice), I'm free, free, free of the stifling heat! It will make you feel good, and will give your co-workers a much needed giggle. And, what is more important than making someone laugh? Money, sex, food.....sorry, it was supposed to be a rhetorical question, but my ADHD kicked in. Alright, I'm out. And, by out, I mean I'm going outside. Have a wonderfully cool, almost fall day! I'M FREE, FREE, FREE OF THE STIFLING HEAT.....